Memories and Dreams

 Okay... This is today's ramble.

I have a STD that can lead to dementia and friends with autism, which also leads to dementia! And for autists that process is quickened if they get stressed too much, so if you're an autist and are reading this right now.

Please do not freak out. 

I do however recommend you read this to the very end as I believe it COULD help you come to terms with it. Or at the very least help with that.

Now, call it the speakings of a wishful fool or the rambling of a madman, whatever you like.

If you can't read it all, that's fine!

But hear me out...

I don't believe someone can actually lose their memories unless their brain cells are like literally killed, die, or something drastic.

I believe it is more like...

Say, take your memories and let's say there's these file cabinets in your brain where you store them after sorting them out.

Say you forgot something and are having a difficult time remembering it.

It's like those memories are locked in a file cabinet but you lost the key.

So, in a sense, dementia is like that but instead of just losing the key, it's like you forgot the key existed because your physical brain stopped working properly.

In other words, it's like you permanently lost access to your memories.

Note that, your memories are still there, and you are still making new ones. 

Just that any new ones aren't being filed, so they don't stay around.

Kinda like how spam gets automatically deleted after a certain amount of time.

 Meanwhile, your old memories simply can't be accessed because you don't have the key. 

And without access you can't properly recall or recollect those memories. 

So I try not to think of it as losing my memories but rather as losing access to them. 

It's still kind of sad but it leaves that nice feeling knowing those precious memories are still there somewhere!

It also means they can come with you when you move on to the next world. 

You can always somehow create a new key or lockpick your way into the cabinet every now and then to uncover a vague image of your memories.

They're censored though since you accessed them improperly.

But if it's simply physical brain damage that made you forget about the key, or where it was, or that it even existed...

Then being reincarnated into a new body with a new brain should help, right?

Well, being reincarnated may be a difficult process for any soul to go through.

So, there's no guarantee you will regain access or keep access. Actually, it's a bit unlikely I'd imagine.

It's probably more likely you forget that key and those memories existed, just like if you had dementia. And if you already had dementia, then nothing changes.

But you know that saying? They say that dreams are memories of another life.

I guess this saying can have some truth to it.

Yes I know I sound crazy but keep reading if you're still interested!

So, dreams are typically based off of fragmented memories.

Especially recent ones, like the thoughts you had just before falling asleep or a show you watched that had a large impact on you the day before.

Yet, it's not uncommon for your dreams to take details of memories you can't recall or recollect.

So it wouldn't be too farfetched to say you can't have dreams of another life.

The fragmented memory details aren't always small. Heck, they're not always fragmented either.

I mean yeah, maybe I'm just way too hopeful and wishful and have watched way too much anime!

Yeah, super high possibility.

But what's wrong with some hope and some faith?

Can't be too bad.

The only people I'm probably hurting at all right now is all those scientists who study this stuff professionally!

My bad, dudes and gals in the lab coats! Keep doing your thing!

I'll just keep being a foolish dreamer, heh.

Thank you for reading.